Friday, October 24, 2008

Inevitable uncertainty

Mmmm. It feels so good to be back! :D

it feels like i should have so much to say... we've been gone for so long! i mean, we needed a break. it was apparent. reaching your breaking point isn't always pretty. but it is when people seem to be the most beautiful. to me, at least. when you are that final moment where you reach the point where it's too much. you aren't capable of handling it anymore. it's just so raw, and real. and that's beautiful. i had reached my breaking point. and i felt real. everything in this world is so fake, and i felt real. and it was freeing.

but i've had time to get over it, and i took advantage of that time, and, subsequently, got over it.

ya know what bothers me? people who start projects, but can't finish them. people who start on something, and work at it, but then after awhile they get discouraged after a minor problem, and they abandon the project and move on to something else. it's like... buliding a house. a builer starts to build a house... it's foundation. and then, after something goes slightly wrong, instead of trying to fix the problem so he could go back to building and trying to make it work, he leaves. just leaves the foundation and half built walls behind him as he drives away, never to return or even spare a glance in his rear view mirror. so then the foundation and the half built walls are left behind, looking like crap and lonely and pathetic. the original builer never comes back, but a new one eventually comes along. a new builder, who strikes up the old project, adding his own touches to the house. he finishes the project that the original builder backed out of. the house is now beautiful as it was intended to be, with it's new design. but the original foundation is still there. the foundation that the old builder left behind, worked hard to make, and then left. no matter what new design the house got, no matter who else came along to try and work at the house, to try and make something of it, it would still have the same old foundation from the original builder. a constant reminder that something else could have been of the house, but was abandoned before there was a chance to see the finished project.

whew. feels good to get that little analogy off my chest. lol. seeing that it's 2 in the morning, i'm surprised that i was able to keep my thoughts together enough for what i was trying to get at to make sense.

speaking of 2 AM, maybe i'll be able to sleep tonight. maybe. at least sleep a little better then i have been.

sigh. did i mention that it feels good to be back?


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