| uh wow. alright. so it's kinda been awhile since i've even looked at this damn blog. i guess i don't really have a reason to anymore right? still confused, still in the dark, still hurt, but i guess there's not much that i can do about that now is there? things are the same. we found places to send our resumes. not that they say much. lol. we've only been taking about a million and ten years to send them of course. i'm not really sure why. but i know that we'll get to it. school's started up again and that takes up most of our time. ew. well what can ya do right? well we've also been exploring our options like we've been working on coreographing dances and such, just to try it. it's really fun!!! now i mean i'm not saying we're good at it or anything, but we sure get a kick out of it :) ha today we went and saw HSM 3!!! it was so corny, but i LOVED IT. why is zac efron so hot? i mean really. it's just not natural or fair. and vanessa hudgens is a whore and doesn't deserve him. of course i'm jealous!! she's freaking gorgeous. yet another thing that's just not fair about life. don't you just love how i'm rambling on about nothing right now? that's the great thing about this blog, no one even looks at it anymore so i can say anything that i freaking feel like. it's wonderful. Ray. i refuse to be weak and show my pain. |
Friday, October 24, 2008
humourless laughter.
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4 comments:
okay so i've had this in me for an ancient amount of time. prolly years. and its mostly confusion and hurt and ive always felt that i shouldn't be blaming or mean and should instead wait respectfully. however im not very patient and i suck at keeping my mouth shut. so. i must admit i don't read this all that often so maybe that is part of it. but i've still read every single post at one point or another. and i am always thoroughly confused. i don't know or understand what is going on or what is happening. and i always feel like things are being held back from me. like maybe i won't get it or don't care but i care so much and im open to other's thoughts. and i feel like we are close and then i read this thing and discover all these things have been happening behind me without my knowledge. and i want to be a part of it so much but how is that possible. i understand you two are undescribably close and may have private things. and i try to wait and be patient and allow our relationship to gradually grow. but i know its never going to be as strong as yours. and the thing is im willing. i am so willing. and i feel like maybe im not good enough to be so close. i wish i was told all these things that are going on. and these plans. but im continuously pushed aside or somethings. and every time i look at this i wanna cry becuz im so lost and just upset that im not a part of this aspect of your lives. like i said, i respect your relationship and i don't know what to say really cuz i don't know what i want. well i do. but that's not up to me really. so im sorry for this rant. and i don't mean to be accusing. i just wanted you to know how i feel. -eesh
What a load of baloney.
What?
ok. mr "anonymous". who the fuck do you think you are?
ahh i love that no one reads these.
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